Iron Chad

Welcome to Gout, population Chad

2012-02-08T09:13:00.002-07:00

Gouty Chad
Recently my foot swelled up, and I couldn't walk for a week, bike for a month, or run for 6 weeks. After almost two months of head scratching (and 2 bad gout attacks) the doctor testing my uric acid levels and determined I've got gout.

"Gout, a painful form of arthritis, has long been associated with diet, particularly overindulgence in meat, seafood and alcohol."
Yep, that's me.

Instagram photos are so pretentious

There are drugs to lower uric acid levels and eliminate the risk of a gout flare, but I'm having a go at controlling it with diet. This means I eat less meat, red meat especially, and seafood. I'm cutting out all alcohol until Ironman, but I'll probably return to light drinking after. I bought a home blood tester so I can check my progress between doctor visits.

Testing
On 19-Jan my UA level was 8.9 mg/dL, as measured in a lab.
Today, I did my first home test and it was 8.2 mg/dL.
My next lab test will be in late march, but I'll keep home testing every couple of weeks.

I just started taking vitamin C supplements as I hear they can reduce UA levels and help mitigate risk of gout attacks. Wish me luck.

Grand Canyon in 3 acts

2011-10-19T09:28:00.002-07:00

Last weekend I camped in the Grand Canyon with some work folks. There were 5 of us packing all of our gear down for 2 nights below the rim.

Day 1
Here's a picture of us just before setting off, early Friday morning:

We had no ideas the dangers that wait in the canyon, also in my tent

That first day was 7 miles, all downhill, down 5000 feet to Phantom Ranch. Five days later, and my calves are still sore.

Is "bing" still a thing?

Once at our campsite (Bright Angel Campground, near Phantom Ranch) we set up tents and put our feet in the creek.

We found a leprechaun! Pot of gold, still unaccounted for.

Then we hiked over to Phantom Ranch where there is the best bar in the whole world, "The Canteen." This place sells box wine and $5 cans of Tecate. Tecate is the best post-hiking drink ever invented. It will make you forget about your sore calves and bruised hips. We immediately began work on our pyramid of beer cans (beeramid?) It was 5-cans high when they closed the canteen at 4pm to prep for dinner.

There are 3 Tulane alumni in this photo, and one more out of frame. Seriously!

As the ranger put it, we "ping-ponged back to camp" and eventually made our way to the Colorado River to splash around. It was a warm day at The Bottom, but the water was freezing cold. Of course I slipped and fell in up to my stomach. Refreshing!

I have no memory of this.

I don't remember anything else from day 1... shocking, I know.

Day 2
We broke camp and hiked up to Indian Gardens, roughly halfway between the South Rim and Phantom Ranch along the Bright Angel Campground. At our campsite we found a damn Mexican Spotted Owl which promptly perched in a place where I couldn't get to my pack.

So majestic and terrifying.

I couldn't get to my tent, water, jacket, and the ranger (same guy) told me, "sleeping in a tent isn't required, and harassing owls is illegal." Stupid endangered owls, always ruining my fun.

My heart was pounding and my colon was puckered.

Eventually the owl took off and I was able to get some sleep. No beers at this campsite, so I drafted a letter to the National Park Service to complain. Where are my tax dollars going, anyway??

Day 3
We hiked from Indian Gardens to the South Rim, our cars, and Wendy's for Frosties.
No one got heat exhaustion, but we practiced the pose just in case.

This pose is called the "Heat Exhaustion Heisman"

One last joke
At the end of the day all 5 of us made it back to civilization, and I have a SWEET stuffed owl to mount in my cubical.
Just kidding, I have a real office... with a door and window. Jealous?

Cave Buttes Dam

2011-09-06T12:42:00.002-07:00

Where am I running?

This week officially kicks off the 2012 training season. Goals include Ironman California Oceanside 70.3 and Ironman Coure d'Alene. This is the first season I'm using a coach, Cheryl Miller from Get Fit Sports Training. She sends me a training plan every 2 weeks, and I execute it ~~begrudgingly~~ con gusto.

She seems to prefer I run hilly trails. That's new for me, but I'm excited to try it. Training for Ironman Arizona 2010, I stuck to my neighborhood streets on my runs, so the variety to trails (and hills!) is very exciting to this poor black child from Mississippi.
I hope to show off some of the trails I find as the season goes on. This is my first run:

Cave Buttes Dam

That's totally not me, I swear.

This entire run was illegal. I drove past 4 No Trespassing signs, ran past 3 more. Then I ran by a few yellow signs that said "No Entry, Falling Rocks" and had a picture of rocks hitting some dude. I suspect there was blasting here, maybe to build the earthen dams. I also jumped a couple of gates with vague warnings from Homeland Security. I'm sure those were meant to keep out terrorists, not me.

I spent the whole of 4 miles exploring, kind of getting lost, but mainly trying to get on top of a dam. I finally found a mountain bike trail and followed it up the embankment to enjoy a view of the valley, and the strip-mined hills to the south. Awesome sauce (do people still say that?)

Here is the elevation graph:

I pushed the button and made it bigger for fun (twss)

Here is the entire route and my activity details below:

It looks easier from 40,000 feet.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/112077819

Coeur d'Alene

2011-06-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

I'm just home from a 3-day trip to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Let's agree to call it "CdA", because I'm not typing that mess anymore.

There are spaces available for your org, as long as your logo is round.

This was the site of Ironman CdA 2011, which took place on Sunday. I shared a house with 9 other people, five of them were racers. The first thing we did was drive the bike course, which was hilly and scenic and hilly as hell.

That's a house under the road, for some reason.

Of course, you can't visit CdA without riding the brass moose. They had a bunch of these.

Now me and the moose BOTH have the herps.

On race day I peeled wetsuits and generally sherpa-ed the racers to the finish. I don't have any photos of that, because I'm lazy, y'all.

The day AFTER the race, I walked to the host hotel to see how much rooms are. They cost a lot of bucks, FYI. I saw this one really smart individual (pretending to be) reading the paper in the lake, which is 56°F. REALLY smart.

No lifeguard, so read the paper at your own risk.

Then I did the unthinkable. Actually, it was my plan all along, but I prefer the dramatic. I signed up to race Ironman CdA 2012. Good news for you! IronChad.com will continue with actual training posts. No more posts where I'm slowly getting fatter and less interesting. Soon I'll be thinner, faster, more sexually agressive and acne-covered. Hooray for testosterone!!

That Asian girl was laughing at me. Story of my life.

Then I flew home just in time to make faces with my kid(s).

Anyone have some cash I can borrow for braces?

See you there.

IronChad returns, but for how long?

2011-06-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

Since I last wrote a lot has happened in the Iron household. Here's the quick and dirty (which was my nickname in high school.)
Baby Kelly
My second daughter was born about a month ago. She's perfect, but she keeps us busy.

New house
When Kelly was 2 weeks old, we moved to a new house. It's in a better school district, and I no longer have a pool to maintain. Instead there's a community pool just three blocks away. I've been unpacking and dealing with boxes night and day for more than a week now.

Half Ironman
Last week I got inspired and signed up for a Half Ironman in California. March 31, 2012, Oceanside, California. I've got lots of time, but I'm excited.

Full Ironman
Next week I'm flying to Idaho to volunteer at and Ironman event and register for the 2012 race. Watch this space for training updates on this race.

Warrior Dash

2011-05-05T15:40:00.003-07:00

Three of us from my office signed up to race the Warrior Dash down in Florence, AZ.
How to get to Florence:
1. Leave Phoenix.
2. Drive until the radio stations are ALL in Spanish.
3. When you see a prison, you've arrived!
This report was going to rock because of the pictures. I messed that up. I put my camera in a ziploc back to keep out mud. The pictures look like they were taken from within a plastic bag. Go figure!
Here's a shot of me with my grey, yet glorious, beard. Can you believe I'm only 24 years old!

That's my 1000-yard stare

Under the direction of Rose (bloger) (nudist) (baby eater) I put my camera in a baggie and ran with it. To my surprise, the pictures came out looking like I put my camera in a baggie and ran with it. Damn you, Universe; you win again.


This is how John Travolta sees the Warrior Dash

Here is the Start. There was fire.

Seriously, click to embiggen this photo. It will blow you damn mind:

In France they call this photo"Le Money Shot"

Don't get distracted by mud honeys!!

Check out the prison shower. Actually, I'll bet this is a lot like Burning Man. Are there any big homos reading that can comment on the similarity?

Celebratory beer and (unpictured) turkey leg and (unpictured) other beers:

Warriors need to rehydrate!

Just like any American holiday, it was just an excuse to dress slutty and show off my tattoos:

In some (2) ways it was a great day.

This is me after I got home and shaved the beard. My marriage can continue uninterrupted now.

Newest member of the Royal Order of Buffaloes

Cute kid overload!

2011-04-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

Not everyone knows, but I have the cutest kid ever born.

Also, there's a new Beastie Boys album. I'm listening to it right now, and so can you!

My second (unpaid) job

2011-04-20T11:23:00.001-07:00

Reebok and me
Someone suggested that I write a bit to explain my relationship (BFF) with Reebok. For the last 2 years I've test shoes for them. I got into the program through a friend, check out his running group.

I tested these a few months ago

What I'm currently testing

They ship me a pair, and I promise to run in them and keep a log. Originally, I agreed to not blog about them, but they stopped requiring that. I wish I had old pics of the shoes, because I've been testing the "Zig" model line since they were prototypes. For my part, they send me ~~ugly ass~~ free shoes; the last pair they gave me I tried to eBay. They didn't sell, mainly because they are horrible.

My "reward" for testing

Silly shit
I saw this and immediately though of "Dr." Meiri.

So cute it hurts, a lot

Friday junk

2011-04-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

That's right, 3 posts in one week! Who's betting I don't post again for a month?
On tap today:
New (free) shoes & toilet musings

Reebok sent me a pair of shoes to test. And they are HOT.

My daughter calls them "MORange" like more+orange

There is nothing worse than a public toilet seat still warm from the last dude.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Sony walkmans are free!!

2011-04-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to our friends at ilaxStudio for running a super awesome giveaway, which I WON! Kim is a super hot blogger piece of ass with a funny blog. Also, she gives away WALKMANs. Check her out.

So here's the unit, as received in the mail:

The best $0 I ever spent!

I set out on an easy jog to try them out. I love how there are no cords between the player and the ear buds. They are a bit heavy, and the bouncing takes some getting used to. OR I could smooth out my stride a bit.

The best BEST part of this walkman is that I can just put music on there like a USB thumb drive, and then it plays. There is no iTunes! F iTunes, by the way.

Here's an awesome picture of me post-run. I should be a model AND a photographer, because I'm amazing at both things.

Why yes, I am bald with a beard. Why?

Race report: My first duathlon

2011-04-11T09:04:00.001-07:00

Poo have been tagged in a photo

I signed up for a half-ironman months ago, but never got around to training in earnest. About 2 weeks ago I contacted the race director and stepped down to the olympic distance triathlon. The day before the race I got an email from the race director saying that the lake is closed due to rainfall. Apparently, too much rain knocks the pH out of whack and bacteria could bloom, get in my butt, and cause ass-itis. You don't want that.
The race was converted to a duathlon, run-bike-run format. I've always wanted to race a duathlon, so this got me super excited.

Dancing shoes on, ready to party

I actually haven't ridden my bike since my last race, 2 weeks ago, so she was still all decked out in race wheels. Time to fly.
Race report
The first run was a 5k, and I tried to run it at 10k-pace, 22:43. Success.
The bike ride was on the Ironman course, so I was super-familiar with it. 25 miles in 1:10:39 (21.1 mph) Success.
The second run was 10k, and I planned to push full out the entire time. 47:54. Glory.

It was an amazing race, and I'm super happy with my time.

Beware of the Gu foil

Now I'll never be a teen model

This is my favorite lesson learned. I taped 2 Gu's to my bike top tube. During the ~~insanely fast~~ ride I felt my leg brushing the Gu packets, but I didn't think much of it. I looked down after the race, and I'm bleeding. I count 11 little slices. What the eff, Gu! Those have to be the sharpest foil packs of sugar paste of all time.

Later comes the nightmare
When I got home, I had to to deal with a carsick daughter who threw up all over the carseat. Fun stuff, right there. Also, I got a flat tire in my car, and my wife's car was also on a flat tire when she pulled up. That has to be a first. We got flats on different roads completely. It makes no sense!

This is going to be spendy

Bellwether

2011-02-15T11:22:00.000-07:00

A sign of the recovering economy:
I've seen more "lost dog" signs than "found dog" signs lately. That makes me feel better about humanity.

Also:

From Hiltons to the Huxtables

2011-01-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Philly trip
I spent a week in lovely Philadelphia, where's It's Always Sunny. (Seriously, click on that damn link.) The purpose of the trip was to drink way too much and wake up on the bathroom floor. Since we had extra time we all met to discuss 2011 plans for the company. Yay, work! If anyone wants to know what I do, it's like software development, except I'm much better looking than you'd expect.

A Mormon and an Irishman walk into a bar...

While we were there, it snowed, it snowed. It was a pretty snow, and I took some wobbly photos while walking from bar to hotel, I think.

I have no memory of this walk or taking this photo.

It's official; she's cooler than I am.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch
I'm so glad to be home, where the thermometer is firmly planted in the 70's, and my daughter is so cool she wears sunglasses indoors. Thanks to Granny for sending these!

Foot pains

About 4 weeks ago my damn foot started hurting pretty bad. Let's make a list of stuff I've done to destroy my foot:

It hurts here, and also when I pee

From the diagram, you can see it has no meat on it. That doesn't seem right.
Tucson half marathon (which I KILLED) was downhill... bang bang bang.
I was wearing running shoes in a SPIN class, which puts crazy stress on that part of the foot.
I was testing a pair of Reebok's that aren't ready for prime time.

The last known photo of my healthy right foot

Anyway, I'm headed to the doc tomorrow. I hope it's nothing major. I don't want to wear a boot.

Congrats to The Boring Runner
Finally, congrats to our friends over at TheBoringRunner.com for winning the silver medal in the blog-lympics. You really put the Blah in Blog. I stole that joke from a middle school friend; I'm so pathetic.

Polar Bear swim with First Wave Tri

2011-01-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

What better way to start a new year than to take of your clothes and jump into a cold-ass lake? I guess coffee and pancakes with my family would have been a better choice.
About 12 of us from my triathlon club met at the lake (with snowy mountains as our backdrop) for a quick dip and a bike ride. Here are some pictures, and the footage from the local news:

That's a reasonable temperature for a swim, right?

Local wildlife demands respect, and cookies

I was first out!

Notice the snow in the background, I sure did.

Ironically, the ride was much colder than the swim.

Here is what we saw on TV that night:

2011 has officially begun

2010-12-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

Hello there, 2011
I got a week-early start on the new year, and begun a training plan for the Marquee Half Iron triathlon, April 10. The plan is a custom number from the fine folks at BeginnerTriathlete.com. Basically, it's 3 swims, 3 rides, and 4 runs each week. I hope to incorporate more speedwork and hills than last year's long-course training. We'll see how that goes. Also, I got a new fancy GPS watch, so I gotta keep training, right?

It's one of these; it must be.

My Fair Baby
Brace yourself. My little baby is a young lady, complete with painted toenails. I'm not sure why, but this freaks me the hell out!

Baker Chad
I'm not a huge fan of food blogs, but now I understand them a little bit more. There is a certain bit of pride when you pull off a bit of gastronomic acrobatics, and I definitely want to show off. So I'm going to subject you, my fine reader, to a picture of a pie I made. This pie is in no way made "from scratch." In fact, the crust and the filling are both from the grocery. I just assembled it, using my hands and brain, and managed to NOT burn it ~~too badly~~. The basket weave top was a total random idea that turned out a lot better than I anticipated. I hope you enjoy eye-humping it as much as I enjoyed eating it.

Does the one on the left look underdone?

Christmas with the Chisholm Family

2010-12-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas to anyone who does that sort of thing.
We brought Leah to visit family down South, and it was a great time. Here are some photos:

Aunt & Uncle, and Granny. Also, Chihuahuas!

Pops & Maw Maw Dee

Where yat?
For those of you who didn't grow up in SE Louisiana, a yat is someone from New Orleans, (maybe Chalmette and Kenner count?) The word comes from the phrase "where you at?" which is pronounced "where yat?"
With that background, I give you The 12 Yats of Christmas. I remember this song from my childhood.
Sing with me... "dicks pack of sixy."

NOW it's Christmas.

Tucson Half Marathon race report

2010-12-13T11:06:00.001-07:00

Tucson half marathon
I didn't know what to expect from a half marathon 3 weeks after Ironman. The trip started amazing; we booked a room at a fancy resort. These resorts apparently, are cheap right now. Check it out, Ventana Canyon on a Ramada Inn budget!

This is the view from my balcony. We swam in the pool, too, like a boss.

The Tucson HM is a downhill race, see picture. You board a bus at 5:30 AM and ride uphill for 13 miles to start the race. This is a great concept, and it's great for my self esteem.

The value of my 401k

I started the race and just sort of ran with a small group of ~~really hot chicks~~ runners. They were putting down sub-8 pace, so I stuck with them on a whim. I didn't take this race too seriously, so blowing up wasn't a big worry. Anyway, after 5k, I felt great, so I just kept trying to stay under 8:00 pace. Everything was going great, and I started sinking into the pain cave, deeper and deeper. This distance race is uniquely horrible. You really have to put yourself in a lot of discomfort, like a 10k, but it takes twice as long!
The final 2 miles are a bit uphill, and that's a horrible feeling after 11 miles of downhill. The final result was worth it, though. I got a new PR by almost 12 minutes.
1:43:05 (7:52 pace)

Now run back up the hill!

Random Youtube video commentary
This is a brand new regular segment on Ironchad Dot Com. (Yes, that is the full name of this blog.) Every segment I'll pick a video and make insightful commentary.

This is a popular video. Check out the girls watching this kid playing piano. Do you think he's dating them all now? If I have a son, he's taking piano lessons. I'll show him this video, and he'll understand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxDlC7YV5is

Bonus video: This fake Ke$ha is much hotter than the "real" Ke$ha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7n8GqewJ2M

That's all I've got. Goodnight!

What the hell do I do now?

2010-12-08T13:17:00.002-07:00

What now?
Ironman is over, and I'm just sort of twisting in the wind. I have enjoyed sleeping in and spending time (drinking) with the family. We have been taking our daughter (she's 1) on a lot of family hikes. She loves the pack.

She's like mini-me, only mini-er.

Next we took her to the tallest fountain in the world. You'd think that'd be somewhere cool like Dubai, or Slidell. Nope! It's in Fountain Hills, AZ, about 40 minutes from my house. That thing was HUGE. It's like a Flomax ad!

Finally, I wanted to point out that my daughter, while cute as hell might be the devil. I managed to capture her demon eyes while she was showing off her Tulane cheerleader costume.

She's like a young Drew Barrymore. Anyone get that reference?

Last minute thought:

Thanks to Kim from http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/ for reminding me that I want to go back to Aruba. I miss the buckets of beer, and the fish poboys, and especially the "European style" beach with the Americans pretending to be European. I need to dust off my man-thong and get back there. Here is what I'm talking about.

Ironman Arizona Race Report

2010-11-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

Before

Let's "do" each other on the lawn. That's not gay.

Woke up at 3:50, 10 minutes before the alarm. I actually slept REALLY well, which helps the nerves. Somehow between home and the race site I lost my Garmin 405. Luckily I had an old Timex "Ironman" watch with heart rate monitor. How fitting! That worked out perfect, since I needed heart rate information while on the bike. More on that later. *I'm such a tease!
I hung out with some friends, and cracked jokes. Catie and Leah met me at the water's edge, and that was SO NICE. I was remarkably calm, pre-race. Last year I almost puked from anxiety, and I wasn't even racing.

Swim

Numb feet!!!

I jumped in the water and immediately cut my foot open. The top of my foot hit some underwater wall, that was obscured by the darkness, and it was bleeding all over the place. Luckily, the water was COLD AS SHIT and that killed the pain. I swam a quick warm-up to get the blood moving (not the foot blood). I swam a bit far, because I almost hit a kayak at the starting line. Oops, I started at the VERY front with the fishies. The announcer was talking blah-blah-blah, queue Black Sabbath music, and BOOM goes the gun. I was startled, because I wasn't paying attention.
I've never been in a bar fight, but this is probably what it's like. I got kicked in the kidney HARD, elbowed in the goggles, twice, and I'm pretty sure someone put a finger in my butt. One tense moment: I quickly reacted to a foot that emerged from the murky depth and narrowly dodged a heel to my surgically-repaired jaw. That would have been a day-ender.
At the end of it, I was 5 minutes faster than I anticipated. If you can handle the scrum, you'll benefit from the draft of the fast fishies flailing fists.
Goal: 1:13:12
Actual -1:09:22 (1:49/100m)

Bike

Aero-chad

Three windy and rainy loops on the Beeline Highway with sprinkles of HAIL!!! This was an epic bike ride. I've never ridden with this much driving wind, but I settled in and stayed in my heart rate zone. It's hard because triathletes have a tendency to push too hard when riding into the wind. My splits got slower with each lap, and by mile 109 I decided I was not going to break 12 hours. I was okay with it, because my neck and back hurt so much, and I was SO HAPPY to get off that damn bike. I'm not even kidding.
Goal - 6:03:14
Actual - 6:14:47 (17.9 mph)

Run
Thrilled to be off the bike, I was cracking jokes and high-fiving anyone at arm's length. I got to the "Mile 1" marker, and I almost crapped myself. "What did I get myself into?" I'm not sure what I expected, but I was shocked that they expected me to run 25 more miles.
I settled into a pace, that I thought I could hold forever. This course, is amazing, because you pass friendly faces all the time, and the aid stations are irreverent and fun. This run flew by, and I know that's not true. I must be repressing the memory of some miles.

Breaking 12 hours

This is me trying to look good for the camera

While on the the last loop, I overheard someone tell the guy behind me, "You have 30 minutes and 3 miles to break 12 hours." That was all I needed to hear. I shot like a cannon, and my splits show it. I averaged 8:59/mile over the last 6 miles. I'm fairly certain all of that was on the last 3. The last half-mile was fist pumping and high fives. I tried to do some low fives, but I almost ate it. I danced around the finish line (photo below), and got the crowd pumped up. They really know how to throw a party.

Goal - 4:22:00
Actual - 4:16:21 (9:47/mile)

Overall
I made a decision a month pre-race to not dread this race. It's definitely my "A race", and I really wanted to kill it, but it's so easy to fall into an anxiety trap. By letting go of any dread I felt (cold water, flat tires, bonkery...), I was free to have a fun race. And, that's what I did; I had a BLAST all day out there. It went by so fast (mainly because I am really fast). If you've got a race coming up, please take this advice. Remember to have fun out there. Otherwise, why do this?

Goal 11:53:27
Actual 11:56:43 - Nailed it

Bring on the beer!

For more pictures for the day click right here.

The cost of Ironman

2010-11-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

What does Ironman cost? It's bullet list time!

Pre race:

$577.50 registration fee
1000 miles run
4 pair of tennis shoes
3000 miles on the bike
6 inner tubes, 4 CO2 cartridges
70 hours in the pool
8,000 flip turns
1 Garmin 405: lost on race morning

It's totally worth it all, though. I finished the race in 11:56:43. Coming into this, I didn't think I could break 12 hours. After 25 mph winds and a hailstorm during the bike segment, I REALLY didn't think I'd break 12 hours. At mile 23 someone told me "you've got 3 miles and 30 minutes to break 12 hours." That's when the race got fun.

I don't remember it hurting that much

Now I need to catch up at work, and get back to real life. Thanks everyone for your support and kind messages!

It's beginning to look a lot like Piglet

2010-11-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

I died for your cents

[Pork-related pun goes here]
I'm sure you're all working hard on your Christmas list, and you're probably wondering what I want. If you still don't know what to get me, please consider this sweet little item. It's a real piglet piggy bank! The Humane Society is pretty pissed, but those hippies get mad all the time. Anyway, pick one up, and send it to your nearest dearest iron-est friend named Chad.

GPS watch contest (not mine)
One of my favorite blogs, DC Rainmaker, is giving away a free Garmin GPS watch. This guy is legit. Just leave a comment on his site, and you're entered to win. I'm not sure what truck these watches fall off, but he's definitely got a hookup.

Race gear

She's got her dancing shoes on

It's 6 days until Ironman Arizona, and I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Friday night I swapped out my regular (heavy) wheels and put on my fancy, aerodynamic wheels. I spent too much money on these carbon fiber wheels (don't tell my wife), and I only use them a few times a year. It's quite silly, but the entire sport is silly.

Race goals
This is the last bit I'll write before the race. Some people don't like to discuss race goals; it can be a personal topic, very touchy. I need to publish my goals so I can be held accountable. When I'm struggling at mile 20, I want to know that all 3 of my readers are expecting me to perform as promised. So here are my race goals for Ironman Arizona on Sunday. Hold me to this:

Does this make you queasy? It does for me.

Windows 7 Phone > iPhone?

2010-11-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

Pay no attention to my messy desk

New pocket toy: Windows Phone
After 18 months of dutiful service, my iPhone has died it's final death. It actually died a few times, but this last one was a terminal knell. This morning I replaced it with a brand new model of phone and OS, Windows Phone 7. I'm with AT&T, so I had three handsets to choose from; I snagged a Samsung Focus.
My first impressions are good. It's a pretty slick interface, fast and responsive. I connected to my work and personal email accounts, and everyone transferred over. This isn't a gadget blog (or is it?) so I won't go much more into this. I am planning to write an application or two for Windows Phone devices, so we'll see if I can get some motivations for that.

In even geekier news...
I am the proud winner of a gmail haiku contest. Gmail asked for haikus about their mail service, and gave away 140 t-shirts. I was a winner, and here's my entry:

Multiple sign on

You make my life easier

I think I love you

As you can see their standards for this "contest" were quite low. Here is a picture of the shirt they sent me. They threw in a free pug dog, too. I think I'll keep him.

"It's after 6. What am I, a farmer?"

Haters gonna hate

2010-11-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

Pubic enemy

Nice woody, hater

I think I found my mortal enemy. Why not just confront me? Instead, he declared war on my through a personalized license plate. That's just wrong. Well, I'm officially call you out, Mr. Station Wagon. Let's either fight now or hug it out, because I've got shit to do.

Coasting to the finish line

Taper, not tapir

My Ironman training has moved into the finally (sexiest) phase, Taper. Peak is over, and it was brutal. Now the workouts are getting shorter and easier. My body SHOULD recover a bit from the 27 weeks of hard work. This restful 3 weeks should leave me ready to rock on Nov 21.

A very special Halloween issue

2010-10-25T13:32:00.001-07:00

Wanted: beet juice for drinking/blogging
I read an article touting the benefits of beet juice (or is it beetroot juice?) I really wanted to do a "Try It" segment on IronChad about beet juice, and it was going to be AWESOME. I hoped to chug some and then go for a stupid-long workout. Then I was going to somehow quantify it's benefits. I had a lot of good ideas.
Then I realized that you can't actually buy beet juice (or beetroot juice, perhaps) anywhere near here. Does anyone know where to buy this magical elixir? I'll trade you a couple of lightly-used pugs (or is it pugdogs?) for some beet juice.

Ironman training update


Now hiring: graphic artist

I finished the 4th week of a 5 week "Peak" training phase. This means I have one more hard week, and then it's a 3 week coast to race day. Stick with me; we'll get through this together. Next weekend's plan is a 112-mile bike ride and a 3-hour run. Then November begins, and that's when we become legendary.

Extremely scary baby pictures
There is a large contingent of IronChad readers (all 3 of you) who come here for pictures of my daughter. With that in mind, I'm including some pictures of her dressed up for Halloween.
She's a strawberry, a very scary strawberry.

The quintessential Arizona baby picture

She looks like a flower in this one

Riding long and refueling like a boss

2010-10-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

Riding long 101
This weekend I went for a 101 mile bike ride alone. I think it's important mental training to ride long alone at least once before Ironman. Unfortunately, I think I'm a dumber for having done that. Seriously, my thoughts have been scrambled since the ride. I've rewritten this paragraph ~~four~~ five times. Here are some thoughts that ran through my head during the almost six-hour ride.

1800 calories of diabetes

Instead of energy gels, I should bring a tub of vanilla frosting and a bottle of no-doze on my long rides.
Bicycle seats were invented by someone who hates prostates and wants them all to die.
Coca Cola slushies are Man's greatest invention.
Bullet lists are fun for the writer, but do readers like them? I should ask.

After the ride I went for a run. It was hot at that point, and I was in survival mode. I jogged about 6 miles, and can't imagine running 20 more. Thankfully, I only have to do that once, ever.

Peak training lasts 2 more weeks, and then I begin a gradual three week taper leading up to race day. As a reader, you can expect my exhaustion, bitterness, and general snark to yield to anxiety, restlessness, and very specific snark. Are you excited??!?!

Recovery "food"
I brought the family to the local greasy diner for "breakfast for dinner" which is one of my favorite meals. I had this huge plate of ridiculous: chicken fried steak and eggs (and other stuff). I felt horrible after eating it, but I think I needed the (at least) 3000 calories it promised.

Three eggs reminds me of the alien hooker from Total Recall.

Here is a picture of my wife and daughter making friends with the locals. They live a normal life without stupid long training days and stupid big food hangovers. I am jealous.

Give her the balloon and no one gets hurt.

Calcium is the new Gold

2010-10-11T13:49:00.001-07:00

CalciumChad
If you're counting backwards to Ironman using the periodic table, this morning I'm Calcium-Chad. Here are some ~~interesting~~ facts about CalciumChad:

I'm glistening

Symbol: Ca
Age: 32 years young
Atomic Mass: 151 pounds
Melting Point: 115F
Classification: Bike lane dweller
Density: Heavier than water, but lighter than the couch
Color: Farmer's tan

Big training phase
Week 25 of 30 of my Ironman training just began, and things are really ramping up. I am training 3 hours/day on average. Most of that is Saturday/Sunday with a long ride and long run. Last week I ran 43 miles. That is by far the most I've ever run, and my knees are PISSED. If I survive this, I'm going to buy them something nice. One of my knees is 32 years old, and the other turns 3 this winter. What can I buy that they both would like?


Don't look behind you; it's hideous

Saints game, more like 'aints game
After my long run on Sunday, I packed up the family and headed to a friend's house to watch the Saints beat the Cardinals. Yeah, that didn't work out so well. I'm happy to see the Cardinals' defense step up, but I not happy they decided to do it against the Saints. My daughter was crushed by this loss. I don't know if she'll ever fully recover.

How to Vote

2010-10-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Not really Iron, am I?
I acknowledge that this blog may be (temporarily) mis-titled. I am not, in fact, made of iron. ...yet. There are still 7 weeks until my first Ironman race. Backing-up a few atomic numbers from Iron makes me Potassium. So this week you can call me Potassium Chad.

Voting for Dummies
We're only a few weeks away from election day, and here in Arizona we've got some tough choices. Local elections have a LOT more effect on your life than national elections. For that fact, it's important that you're informed on these local measures. Below I go through some of the ballot measures and tell you how to vote.

This blog is so 2005

Prop 109 - Make hunting and fishing a constitutional right

Here's one I can get behind. I love me some meat. I love fish, too. If the Sierra Club is mad, you know it's gotta be a good law. Vote yes.

Prop 112 - Make it harder to raise ballot measures

This is the opposite of wishing for more wishes. Essentially, this is voting for less votes. I am into this one, big time. Vote yes.

Prop 302 - Terminates early childhood development

I have a kid, she's adorable. I never liked the idea of a state worker "developing" her. Maybe with the savings we won't have to fire cops or something. Can you tell I'm getting tired of reviewing these? Vote yes.

Prop 203 - Medical marijuana

I'm curious to see how this plays out in Arizona. A lot of states have medical weed, and it's been a lot of fun. Arizona used to be a libertarian state, but lately it's become increasingly socially conservative. If we open the door to more weed, it'll give the kids something to do other than smoking meth at the skate park. Vote yes, it'll be hilarious.

I miss him already

Prop 106 - Ban requirement of health insurance
Healthcare is a hot topic. Regardless of how you feel about it, you have to admit that the state probably can't do anything to fight the feds on this. Why waste my tax money then? Vote no.

Prop 110 - Authorize the state to sell land without auction
BORING! Vote no.

Prop 111 - Change "Secretary of State" to "Lt. Governor"
Seriously? This is the F2 proposition. This also means that the Lt. Gov will run on the Gov's ticket, and that they will be the same party. This sounds like a trap. Vote no.

Can America elect a fat guy?

Prop 107 - End affirmative action in state hiring

This is one of many props that is advertised the same way by BOTH sides. Both sides say that they follow the spirit of Dr. King. Both are full of shit. Teach them a all lesson and don't vote at all on this one.

Prop 113 - Secret ballots for unions
I don't want to have my thumbs cut off, so I'm not touching this one. If you know what's good for you, you'll skip this one as well. Don't vote either way.

Faithful readers, what say you on this election? Do you have a favorite ballot measure you're excited about?

DNF'ing Around

2010-09-27T08:59:00.000-07:00


My car tells the story faster than I do.

Yesterday was a half-ironman simulation race. If you've never done that, I'll explain a bit. A small group of friends (or frenemies) gather at a lake in the dark and swim 1.2 miles as soon as the sun comes up. It gets bad after that. You all immediately jump on your bikes and ride 56 miles at a race pace. Then you attempt to run 13.1 miles. That's the hard part.

If you skimmed the article, you've probably figured out that I didn't make it. I had a great swim, a decent ride, albeit windy and hot. I totally fell apart on the run. After one loop on the trail, 6.5 miles, it was 100°F, and I decided to pull the plug; it just wasn't safe to continue in that heat. I think I learned a lot doing this "race", so I'm glad I did it. I'm REALLY glad it's over. That shit sucked.

To a cuter and less terrible topic... we brought the baby to get her first pair of shoes. Stride Right here we come! She got her foot sized by the sales girl, 3.5. I didn't even know baby shoes came in half sizes. This is starting to sound like a racket. The add-on sale was a pack of ankle socks. My daughter officially has more socks than I do.

Happiness is on sale! $29.99

September is for Travelers

2010-09-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

Today finds me back in the Bay Area, scenic Oakland, to be specific.

My daughter turns 1 this week. Please don't tell her I'm out if town. I put a dry fit shirt on the floor lamp, and she's been calling it "Da" for a week. The birthday party was interesting; we gave her a cake and expected her to trash it. She was waiting for me to feed her the cake neatly with her spoon. It makes me wonder what this tradition is based on. Anyway, it was a great opportunity for me to fuel up on pink frosting; that's the key to my training

Sunday, a group of us biked hill repeats at South Mountain in Phoenix. After 4 hours of biking, I ran 4.5 miles in the hills of hades. Between the heat, dehydration, and exhaustion, I became quite philosophical. My temporary dementia brings this new regular segment on IronChad.com:

Really Bad Triathlon Poetry
Ribbon of asphalt unwinds before me;
Cyclists and runners do their dance;
The heat of the day slowly cooks me;
I'm just fighting not to shit my pants.

Be sure to head over to the Boring Runner and send Adam your condolences. The race director of the 5k he won has asked for the trophy back. They figured out that Adam isn't special needs ~~enough~~, so he doesn't qualify for the division he won.

San Franciso trip

2010-09-14T19:08:00.001-07:00

I'm posting this from San Francisco, traveling for work. I learned that the TSA doesn't like Garmin FR405 watches. Apparently, their thickness is something of a threat to national security. I did manage to run one time during my work trip. I got out to the Fisherman's Wharf, and it was a beautiful run.

The hotel I was in had an awesome indoor pool. I didn't bring swim gear, but I really should have. It turned out to be a 25 yard lap pool, which is quite rare in downtown hotels.

The most beautiful pool I never swam in

The other amazing thing that happened this week is that football is back. I'm involved in 3 leagues; each league involves money. I've got a fantasy team, a survival group, and a pick 'em...umm a pick 'em nostril. I'm just so happy to have a real sport with real athletes to watch. I can't get behind a sport where Prince Fielder is considered great.

Please don't eat me

Finally, congrats to my friend (who I've never met in person) Adam, "The Boring Runner". Check out his blog. He recently took top honors at a West Valley 5k. I'm pretty sure he entered the kids Fun Run event, but he smoked those (young and disabled) fools! Big up to Adam.

Coronado is the Bomb-onado

2010-09-08T15:56:00.003-07:00

I took the family to Cornado, CA (think San Diego, but quainter.) It was Leah's first time on the beach, and she loves the sand. She even enjoyed the freezing cold water.

Leah is CUTE!

2010-06-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

New Race Outfit

2010-06-08T16:27:00.004-07:00

I found a new outfit for my next triathlon.

...no not really.

Testing email to post

2010-06-08T15:37:00.001-07:00

This is my dog. He's a hot dog.

First post

2010-06-08T15:12:00.002-07:00

I've moved my blog here to simplify my life a bit. I plan to use this space to share things with a non-existent fan base.

Here's a picture of my daughter demonstrating how to properly chillax.